Behold the new cryptocurrency… Buttcoin.
At least my quarantine home haircut came out great!
How to find Kentucky on a map.
Now you’ll never forget. Guaranteed!
Your Coronavirus Horoscope.
Conservatives put a man on the moon. Liberals put a man in the ladies room.
India becomes latest nation to land on the moon.
If you think the party that freed the slaves are the racist ones… you might be a Liberal.
If you don’t trust the police or government, but you think they should be the only ones to have guns…you might be a Liberal.
If you find yourself defending MS13 gang members … you might be a Liberal.
If you’re more concerned about Islamophobia than stopping terrorism… you might be a Liberal.
If you think it’s wrong to cut down a tree, but okay to kill a baby… you might be a Liberal.
The day Elizabeth Warren lost her Indian blood!
Today, Elizabeth Warren announced her 2020 run for the Presidency. In a tragic turn of events yesterday, Warren was bitten by a mosquito. The mosquito removed precisely 1/1024 of her blood which just happened to be the entirety of her Indian blood.
Warren is currently meeting with a team of geneticists to determine if she can claim ancestory from any other minority group in order to gain an advantage in the upcoming election.
- I hate that part of the morning where I have to get out of bed.
If I just keep looking cute… they’ll surely blame the dog.
Why don’t you have a seat… and explain where my teaticles went.
When you ask her what’s wrong, and she says “nothing,” but then she spends the rest of the day looking at you like…
Back in my day, when athletes took a knee… they took a knee!
That “nap” you take… when you are scheduled to testify against the Clintons.